As I haven’t been to the Double Arches in a while, and I had some time and was hungry, I decided I would partake of their fare on this fine and sunny afternoon. Just out from visiting the docs doing some cholestorol and fat index checks.

So, through the drive thru and:
“Can I take your order please?”
I’d like a McChicken combo please
“Orrrsum! What drink would you like?”
A bottle of diet water please
“Orrrsum! Anything else with that order?”
No, thanks
“Orrrsum! Would you like to upsize that order?”
No, thanks
“Orrrsum! that comes to $8.40. Please drive up to the 1st window”

Got to the window, recognised the staff member as being a previous employee of KFC, paid and moved onto the next window. As you do.

Right, so one bottle of diet water (that cracked me up. I’m guessing they’ve heard the diet water one before or the attendant was on auto pilot cruising around with her head in those “Orrrsum!” clouds), one chicken burger and some chups…on the way. It’s not a big order, ay…?

Customer represenatative number two, also a throwback from the KFC days,
“Here’s your water”
(I didn’t say it wasn’t diet, as there was no-one in the car to impress, so left it)
“Would you mind parking over there in the waiting bay…”
nah, I’ll just stay here. there’s no-one else in the drive thru. Won’t be that long will it?
No response. So they made me wait until a car did come through the drive thru about 3 minutes later.
“Would you mind parking over there in the waiting bay…”
Gordon Bennett

Natch, they bought me my order in a crumpled old brown bag after the customer behind me had been and gone, about 5 minutes after I placed my order. It had obviously been sitting on the bench for a while. I went home and unboxed the burger and all it turned out to be was a lettuce sandwich. A brown, floppy lettuce sandwich. OK, OK, it did have a chicken fillet embedded into the bottom bun, but it took a while to find it…Oh…and the hair.

The long, black, fresh-from-the-chef strand of hair in my burger.

Now, if their hair can get in my burger, god knows what else is in it. Especially because I wouldn’t move my car…I shoulda had the burger tested at ESR or something…but it ended up in the bin instead.

This is what I think is going wrong with MacDonalds…

Since KFC closed, MacDonalds appears to have hired the *experienced* staff made jobless from KFC when they went under (judging by who I can see working the grills and the counters). From past experience with KFC front-line staff, they don’t give a toss about personal hygiene or the quality of food they produce. Never mind the fact that they all look like they’ve eaten half the stock.

I saw KFC get dirtier and dirtier as it was overrun by this level of incompetent staff. Now, I don’t expect anyone to do anything about it, because I don’t really care as I won’t be going there again myself, but I suspect, when they close their doors because the customers are driven away by the smell, the bad service, the increasingly poorly prepared food, and not forgetting the lazy, hooded, ”yoof” that muster around the doors outside gobbing all over the footpath and trying to steal cars in broad daylight, it will not be missed.

Certainly, KFC going under didn’t cause even a hiccup in the space and time continuum known as  my hometown,  and I completely expect MacDonalds will go the same way.